And the moral of that is- Be what you would seem to be -- or, if you'd like it put more simply -- Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.
- Lewis Carroll
May 27th, 2012
(via fibromyalgiaproblems)
May 23rd, 2012
I do believe I have abandonment issues which stem from the reoccurring loss of friendships I depend(ed) on which seemed to last no more than 3 years every time.
I’m not a bad person, but I don’t know how or what to change to keep those I need most from leaving me behind in the wreckage of what was.
I know exactly how it feels as I am in the same position. I have a huge issue trusting persons as well because of this. I’m afraid to even be in a relationship because I fear that the person will get too close then leave me like everyone else in my life has.
I’ve come to two conclusions:
1) I’m a shit person who fears change and while everyone moves on, I remain behind, hoping everything will stay the same. In the end, I am forgotten and alone as always.
2) It’s not me, it’s them. I stay true to what I believe is me while they slowly become someone else.
May 23rd, 2012
I’ve been making beautiful things and keeping a positive outlook on life. Fuck you depression! I and my meds are in control!
May 23rd, 2012
Why must she hurt me so?
I’m about to do one of the hardest things I’ve done in a while. Practicing assertiveness is shit hard and makes me feel like I’m cracking myself open for the world to see. I hate letting persons know how they make me feel but it’s about time I started. So here goes the first delivery of my open letter.
My first letter is to someone who once meant the world to me but in recent years, has caused me nothing but pain. In my post, My Hypothetical Letter to my Hypothetical Friend, I attempted to express my feelings about the situation in an open letter. Well, it’s about time I delivered that letter. Another post I wrote on the same situation with this person can be read here.
I have no idea any more what kind of outcome I’m looking forward to and maybe it’s for the best. No wishes, no disappointment. Wish me Luck!
May 13th, 2012
The fear of being alone is almost unbearable.
April 29th, 2012
(Source: weheartit.com, via nights-end)
April 2nd, 2012
I try so hard to be okay…
But most times I miss my mark.
Maybe it’s that I try to hard.
I don’t know.
But right now,
I’m far from okay.
March 20th, 2012
High off of life.
This weekend was truly brilliant. Although I was sick all weekend and was at school for most of it, I must admit it did lift my mood. It could be that I got to hang out with three of my amazing friends. It could be that my class project is coming on swimmingly. It could also be that I got a lot of rest this weekend. But whatever it is, I thank God for it. I spent today relaxed, chilling with people, helping others with work, taking numerous photographs of studio life and aiding in designing a panorama for our presentation.
I truly feel like I’ll be going to sleep tonight at peace with myself.
Today was an amazing day.
February 24th, 2012
Random Fact #15
At the age of 4, my grandfather thought it was a good idea to use Jurassic Park as a babysitter while he finished his work. Needless to say I couldn’t sleep for nights due to the fact I thought dinosaurs were hiding in my closet. Till this day, I can’t sleep with the closet door open because once I glance on the dark abyss, my imagination takes flight.
February 5th, 2012
The most detrimental feeling I experience is the feeling of inadequacy
It normally starts when there is work to be done. I imagine the desired outcome or see another’s progress but in the creative process, I start to realize it will never be what I want it to be. That’s normally when disaster strikes. I start getting hot and frustrated and suddenly, this once seemingly easy task becomes a never ending challenge.
It’s the reason for most of my failures and sadness as I have strived for so long to be extraordinary, only to find that I can not even pass the ordinary line.
